


Matters of Trust

by PeterStark



Series: Marked by Fate [10]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Communication Failure, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Guilty Barry Allen, Guilty Oliver Queen, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Protective Barry Allen, Protective Oliver Queen, Sassy Oliver Queen, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Sparring, Vulnerable Oliver Queen, off screen sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:33:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26886682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark
Summary: Oliver rarely finds peace. He trusts Barry to give him that. Only problem is that Barry doesn't trust himself with that.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Series: Marked by Fate [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564228
Comments: 1
Kudos: 125





	Matters of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> And this is cute and fluffy and funny and sassy until the angst hits. Oops.  
> I own nothing.

Barry's back hit the floor. "Ungh!" He huffed out. "Fuck."

"Did I say we were done?" Oliver asked suddenly above him.

Barry slid his torso to the side and narrowly missed the punch aimed at his face. He tried to swipe Oliver's feet out from under him. But the larger man wasn't deterred and quickly had him pinned. Barry struggled, even though his hands were pinned down by his forearms, a knee was in his chest. "Dammit."

"Breathe, Barry. You're too used to having your powers. Now, listen and learn. You're not as strong as me, but you are strong and you have advantages."

"Doesn't feel like it." Barry groaned. His chest ached under Oliver's weight. He wasn't like Oliver, he hadn't earned his abs, he'd woken up with them one day. He didn't know the first thing about fighting, not like this.

"You've got height, even more than I do. That's leverage in your favor. You're stronger than most people, even if you don't know it. And you have your brain."

"See, I'm following your math, but that math only gets me pinned to the mat. I can't fight Oliver, not like this." Barry frowned and shifted his head away. He didn't want to disappoint the archer, but he wasn't good at this, not like Oliver. Without his powers he'd be wiped out, quick, these training sessions proved it.

"You think I learned this quickly? I had five years in absolute hell to make me the way I am and I'm still learning, Barry. Get me off of you." Oliver ordered.

"I can barely breathe, Ollie, how can I move you? You're all muscle. I'm a damn twig next to you."

"Science, Barry. Fighting is a science. Where's my center of gravity?"

"On my chest." Barry wheezed.

Oliver glowered at him. "No, where is it, Barry?"

Barry really looked. It wasn't on his chest, it was slightly off center, given how he was holding Barry's arms, leaning forward. Barry quickly, as quick as a normal human could anyway, shifted his legs and pushed his lower body up as hard as he could. It was just enough to throw Oliver off balance and off of him. Barry rolled away and scrambled to his feet.

"Good." Oliver nodded and rolled to his feet. "Fighting is up here, Barry." Oliver pointed to his head. "Hell, I could teach Felicity to take people down. It's physics."

"Physics... I'm pretty good at that." Barry shrugged.

"Prove it." Oliver picked up two short bamboo sticks and tossed them at Barry before picking up two of his own. 

Within seconds of the fight starting, Barry'd been knocked off his feet, a bruise blossoming on his shoulder and hip.

"Okay, where'd you go wrong?" Oliver asked.

Barry groaned. "When I accepted your invitation to train as a 'normal' person."

Oliver laughed. "Probably, but I'm not here to question your bad life choices. What was the actual mistake?"

Barry frowned down at the sticks in his hands. "I was predictable. You figured out my pattern then waited for a moment to break it, to throw me off."

"Exactly. Don't be predictable, or I will put you on your ass." Oliver grinned.

"You're having too much fun with this."

"I have to admit, it is fun to find an arena where I excel, considering how our fights usually go." He smirked. "Again. You heal fast, you're fine."

"Define fine-Shit!" Barry ducked under a blow and actually managed to hit Oliver twice in the series of strikes. "Yes!" His feet were swept out from under him and a stick was pressed to his throat.

"Don't celebrate unless your opponent is truly beaten." Oliver shook his head.

Barry huffed and got ready to move.

Oliver side-stepped and Barry ran right into the concrete wall behind them. "Annnd, I told you not to use superspeed, but here we are." Oliver turned.

Barry groaned in pain, in a heap at the base of the wall. It hurt to run into things, especially at sixty miles an hour. "How'd you know?"

"Your eyes. I knew the second you decided to run. Gave me just enough time to get out of the way." Oliver sighed.

"This sucks. Why did I agree to this again?"

"You've already lost your powers once, Barry. Who's to say there isn't a meta who can take them away? What if they're stolen in the middle of a fight? You need to know these things. What if you get into a fight out of your suit? You need to be able to preserve your identity and your neck at the same time."

"Right..." Barry lay back on the ground. "I hurt everywhere."

"You're the one who ran into the wall." Oliver reminded him unhelpfully. "Get up, Barry. Again. I know you can do this. Use your head. You're safe to try and to fail here. It's not like I'll put an arrow in you...again. Learn from these mistakes."

Barry reluctantly got up and walked back to the mats, picking up his dropped bamboo sticks. "Okay." They fought again, strikes coming at varying speeds. Barry kept up this time, changed things up. He wasn't sure if he was keeping Oliver on his toes or if his own enhanced mind was just better at adjusting to the changes.

"Better," Oliver praised as they continued to fight. "But you're still making a critical error."

Before Barry could ask what the error was, he was pinned to the ground, pretty sure his calves were black and blue, his hands pinned above his head in one of Oliver's hands, and Oliver's right hand was wrapped around his throat, right over the Mark. Barry could do nothing but gape at the man straddling him. His bare chest shining slightly with sweat, eyes so focused and in control. The weight of him, pining Barry down felt really nice. It was...gorgeous.

"Your stance was off. You need to be lower to the ground, centered, or you'll easily fall right over." Oliver explained. "And are you really getting horny right now?"

"Guilty." Barry admitted.

Oliver rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I could think of a thing or two." Barry grinned cheekily, lifting his hips just a little.

Oliver's eyes narrowed a little bit and he leaned forward.

Barry hummed in appreciation. The new position made it clear that Oliver was interested too and the shift brought their bare chests closer together.

"You're ridiculous." Oliver's hand shifted off of Barry's neck, cupping his cheek instead before he stole a kiss from the speedster.

"And you're gorgeous." Barry beamed back. He slipped his hands out of Oliver's hold with just a little bit of speed, he was pretty sure the training was over, so it was probably fine. "I think we've earned a break. I learned so much today. Like shifting center of gravity." To prove his point, he wrapped his arms around Oliver and pulled him closer, arching and shifting his hips so that their clothed cocks met.

Oliver full on snorted. "That was the absolute worst thing I've ever heard."

"My brains too clouded to make any sense of words. Just fuck me."

Oliver's face didn't exactly fall, but there was a question and a nervousness in him. "Mind if I request something else?"

"Of course." Barry said, kissing Oliver's jaw gently.

"Not here." Oliver shook his head. "My place?"

"Thought I wasn't allowed to use my speed." Barry smirked.

Oliver narrowed his eyes. "Really? If you want to take the long way home, I can go and-" 

Barry picked Oliver up and rushed them to Oliver's place.

Ollie paused and shook his head. He dizzily reached out for the first stable thing he could find in his bedroom. "Don't do that when I'm mid-sentence. I was making a point."

"Now you can make the point in your room?" Barry half-asked, smile still in place.

"Um serious talk?" Oliver asked his face becoming closer to his normal poker face.

Barry frowned and took a step back. His body wanted nothing more than to get as close to Oliver as possible. But he took a deep breath. His horniness had been kicked up a hundred notches since the lightning, but he wasn't going to be a slave to it. "What is it?"

Oliver's jaw flexed a little, nervously.

The needs of his body were instantly on the backburner. There was something vulnerable in Oliver's eyes. Barry reached out and touched Oliver's shoulder. "Hey, you alright?"

Oliver didn't know how to say this. How to talk about it. He didn't want to put pressure on Barry, because Barry might feel pressure. But still...still they were honest with each other about things, especially things like this. Oliver had been there when Barry'd felt vulnerable, afraid of what his new body did and how it could affect his partner. Oliver had been there in those vulnerable conversations and he knew Barry would be there for this.

Oliver didn't remember it being this difficult. Lots of things hadn't been this difficult. Before the island, sex had just been sex. Easy, fun, usually not with the same person consistently, and usually without much space for vulnerability, trust, or love. After the island, Oliver had new knowledge and perspective. Letting someone get that close when you were that exposed? That was difficult, now. After the island, Oliver didn't like people touching him at all. If he had sex, it was either with someone he trusted or someone he knew he could easily overpower, even in the heat of the moment. This meant that some of the things he liked had been...put on the backburner. Oliver was NEVER vulnerable after the island, there was part of him that was always on guard, always ready to fight. That was stressful, always being in control, in command.

Then he'd met his soulmate. He'd met Barry.

For the first time since the island, he could rest with someone by his side. He could, if only for a few moments, shut off the part of him that had to be in control. He could close his eyes and rest. It was a relief for a short time. Then the thing with the Man in Yellow and...Oliver was back in complete control, he had to be, to help Barry. He didn't dislike it. He liked being a safe person for Barry, liked that Barry could find peace and rest next to him. But part of Oliver knew he needed it too, needed to rest and let go of that control. He missed it.

He just knew the idea scared Barry. He didn't want to scare Barry or pressure him, but...they promised each other to try to keep their communication open. How did he start this? How could he say this, knowing that it may upset Barry?

"You can tell me anything." Barry said, squeezing his shoulder.

The hand felt like a tether.

Oliver took a breath. How would he say this? "One day...I want..."

Barry waited, as if he thought Oliver could finish the sentence. "What do you want, Ollie?"

"You." Oliver said bluntly.

"You have me." Barry responded, just as blunt.

Oliver pressed his lips together. Why was it so hard? Maybe because even, in spite, of the crazy thoughts in his mind he was still hard and wanting and Barry was right there, also very hard and wanting and the idea of giving every ounce of control to Barry and just letting his mind go and his body surrender to someone else (not someone else, to Barry, just Barry) all of that was still very appealing and left him just wanting to kiss his soulmate senseless even amidst the inner turmoil. "Remember when I said I was...flexible?"

The speedster tilted his head to the side, as if confused by the subject change, then slowly, it clicked. Then there were a lot of emotions flashing across Barry's face. Barry settled on guilt in the end. "Oliver...I don't think I can... I don't want to- I mean, I do, it's not that I don't want you like that, God, I do. But...I can't. I might hurt you. I couldn't...I couldn't do that."

Oliver reached out and pulled Barry close. "Hey. I trust you."

Barry bit his lip and shook his head. "I don't."

Oliver swallowed. "Barry, you don't have to. I'm just...saying. When-if you're ready. I'd like to..."

The guilt spread, even into Barry's stance.

That was exactly opposite of what Oliver wanted. He shouldn't have said a word. He loved being with Barry in any capacity. Oliver shifted them, pushing and pulling until Barry was sitting on the bed. "Hey, it's fine. I'm sorry."

"Don't...don't be." Barry whispered.

Oliver didn't like the guilt he could see etched in Barry. So he pulled the speedster into a kiss, taking control. "I love you." He whispered, trying to reassure the younger man.

"I love you too. I'm s-"

Oliver kissed him again. He swallowed down the guilt before Barry could express it. Oliver should have been the one saying he was sorry. He should have known it would have bugged, Barry, asking for something the speedster was afraid to give. He should have kept his mouth shut. Maybe waited until Barry was more comfortable in his own skin. Fuck. This was why Oliver had such a hard time being open and honest, it all went wrong one way or another. 

Barry made a needy noise beneath him. It was like music to his ears. This was perfect. Why would Oliver want more? At least with Barry there wasn't any sort of fear...well, there was the fear that someone may try to break in and hurt them, Oliver was a paranoid bastard, but he wasn't afraid of Barry in the slightest. He knew that Barry could literally kill him without him even knowing what hit him, but he wasn't even a little afraid. Wasn't that enough?

The truth was that it was. It could easily be more than enough.

That's why Oliver hated that part of him wanted more and that he'd put that pressure on Barry. He hoped maybe he could maybe erase the moment of weakness and vulnerability, maybe fuck Barry's brains out so well that the speedster forgot all about it. He wasn't too hopeful though.

-

Barry woke, warm and sated. Just like always. He shifted quickly. He'd learned the hard way that trying to shift slowly in Oliver's bed would wake the archer up. In fact, Barry's scratched his nose once and the archer had jolted away, asking what was wrong. 'Uh, itchy?' Barry had responded that night. Oliver snorted and went back to sleep. Barry learned that if there was a shift or noise Oliver's sleeping mind couldn't account for, the man would be up in an instant. From utter peace to fight or flight in a blink.

Oliver had gotten better a bit at a time, but Barry still did everything he could not to disturb the archer.

Barry turned on the bed, facing the archer.

Oliver's mouth was open slightly, his face relaxed, younger somehow. The same way it was when he really smiled. His bare chest rose and fell slowly. One arm was next to his head, his other arm was stretched toward Barry, another change. When they'd first started sleeping in the same bed, there had usually been a knife or something near Oliver, and usually he had a hand near a weapon at all times. That had slowly changed too. More often, Oliver's arms would wrap around Barry, instead of holding onto a weapon, just in case.

Barry should have seen it. Should have seen it before Oliver told him. The older man was just always so in control. He could step into a room and own it without saying a word. Everything about the man rang out 'dominant.' Barry loved it. He loved being taken. He loved giving too, but even though Oliver'd admitted early on to being 'flexible' he hadn't imagined Oliver that way. It just didn't seem right. Barry figured a man like Oliver would just be happier, feel more satisfied, in control. Barry sure as hell didn't feel like he'd lost anything for it, Oliver was an excellent lover.

Yet, Barry'd been wrong. There was something the archer needed that Barry hadn't given him. Couldn't. It had nothing to do with willingness. The idea of having that, of having Oliver that way was just so damn tempting. And the archer needed that too. That feeling Barry got, knowing Oliver had everything in control. He hadn't even noticed it. Barry wanted nothing more than to remedy that, to give whatever it was Oliver needed.

But there were torn sheets and even a broken piece of plaster once. Barry'd gotten too excited. He'd meant to just press his hand to the wall to gain balance, but he'd moved too fast, put his hand through the wall. He could phase too and Barry'd seen that used as a weapon, seen the Man in Yellow shove a hand through someone's chest. What if an accident happened? What if Oliver gave up control, trusted Barry with that control and Barry hurt him? A single, too fast move could break bones. He couldn't do that, he couldn't hurt Oliver. But he didn't want Oliver to want for anything. He'd give Oliver anything...if only he could trust his own damn body to behave. If only he knew he wouldn't lose control and hurt Oliver. Because the last thing he'd ever do was take the faith and trust given to him and crush it.

Barry reached out, wanting to stroke his cheek, wanting to touch him, to apologize. But Oliver looked too at peace. He wasn't going to disturb what little rest Oliver did get.

'I'm sorry, Ollie. I understand what you need...I just can't give it to you. I'm sorry.' Barry thought. Tears leaked from his eyes as he stole one last look at Oliver's serene face. Barry closed his eyes against the guilt and shame and tried to go back to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Take care.


End file.
